You’ve been asked the question, and you’ve responded with a yes. You’ve enthusiastically informed everyone of your family and friends about your engagement. However, when you begin to arrange your wedding, you aren’t feeling it. You think deep and feel you are not ready for marriage commitments.
You’re second-guessing yourself. Is it just a case of the shivers, or is it anything more? Are you not ready to tie the knot? Are you able to see red flags that indicate you’re not ready for a relationship?
Here are five (5) red flags indicating you are not ready for marriage.
1- You’re hesitant to reveal your deepest, darkest secrets.
Two people who know one other’s secrets and still love each other make up a good, loving marriage. You aren’t ready to marry that person if you are hiding something major, such as a previous marriage, a negative credit history, or a substance addiction problem (even if it has been resolved).
If you’re worried that your partner will judge you, you should address the source of your anxiety. When you say “I do,” you want to be able to be yourself while still being appreciated.
2. You’re not fighting well.
You aren’t ready to marry if your pattern of dispute resolution includes one person giving in to the other only to keep the peace. Happy couples learn to articulate their dissatisfactions in ways that lead to mutual satisfaction, or at the very least mutual understanding of the other’s point of view.
If one of you frequently give in to the other to keep tempers from flaring, your relationship will only foster animosity.
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3- You don’t engage in any kind of fight at all.
You tell your pals, “We never fight!” This isn’t a promising sign. It could be a sign that you aren’t communicating enough about the difficult topics. More than likely, one of you is afraid of upsetting the relationship by not speaking out about a problem.
You aren’t ready to marry each other if you haven’t had the chance to see how you both handle a heated argument.
4. Your values do not match when it comes to the big and important issues.
You enjoy spending time with your significant other. However, when you get to know them better, you realize you disagree on fundamental issues such as money (spending, saving), children (how to raise them), work ethic, and leisure activities.
When you marry someone, you marry them all, not just the aspects you like. Clearly, you are not ready for marriage if you do not share the same core principles and ethical standards.
5. You still wonder about.
You keep your intimate communications with an ex hidden. Alternatively, you may continue to flirt with a coworker. You can’t comprehend settling for just one person’s attention. You aren’t ready to marry if you feel the need for frequent approval from people other than the person you are considering marrying.
Marriage does not imply that you stop being human—it is reasonable to admire traits in people other than your future spouse—but it does imply that you are emotionally and physically ready to commit to your partner.